I remember a line from a movie, a Steve Martin movie, that went something like this: “Most people think they have a sense of humor, even if they don’t.” I’m thinking about that line today, but in another light. Most people, I suspect, think that they are not idiots. Most people think that other people are idiots.
I’m thinking this because I was just behind a woman at the grocery store, a woman who clearly knew that she was going to have to pay for her groceries, a woman who was undoubtedly aware of this the entire time she stood in line, as well as the entire time she watched the cashier ring up her purchases and then bag them. She waited until the last item was in the bag, and then began to rummage through her purse for a debit card or maybe a credit card. She looked in her wallet. Nothing. She looked through her wallet again, with the same result. She started to take things out of her purse and place them on the counter, all the while looking up periodically to favor the cashier with a nervous smile.
She found something after five minutes of searching, and then proceeded to learn how to swipe a card, how to punch the proper buttons. I can only assume that this was the first time this woman had ever gone out of the house to buy something. When it was all over, she smiled at the cashier one more time and apologized. She apologized to someone who was paid by the hour to do whatever it was that needed to be done, whether that was ringing up purchases or waiting for somebody to find his or her debit card. She apologized to someone who was going to be there for eight hours, whether he wanted to be or not. She didn’t offer the rest of us waiting in line behind her the first word of apology.
She was, quite obviously, an idiot.
I thought about this as I walked out to my car. I thought about this as a large SUV, driven by someone with one hand on the steering wheel and the other holding a cell phone nearly ran me over. The driver, who noticed me at the last moment, offered a sheepish grin as a condolence for nearly killing me. Another idiot. And not to be outdone, there was one more giant SUV — is that all anyone drives anymore? — that blew down the parking lane as I was pulling out, coming out of my blind spot, completely oblivious to the fact that a car backing out of a space has the right of way over oncoming traffic, even if that oncoming traffic consists of idiots in giant SUVs who happen to be talking on their cell phones at the time.
I thought about this and decided to record all of it for posterity because there is always the chance that someone out there might read this and recognize their own idiotic behavior for what it is. Idiocy. And really, I would have more to say, but right now there is an idiot behind me, honking his horn and gesturing because the light is green and he is annoyed at me for typing this on my laptop. Moron!
